an adjective for the societies i wave through
a world i have to sneak through 
a once called my-world
and i see that now it isn’t mine anymore

it has become something alien
defying logic
defying sanity
defying common sense

it is the commons who defy common sense
the parliament as well as the citizens all around

i’ve seen too many empty cities
why was i there?
how did i manage “the fear” 
internal and external?

and yeah, like most, 
i’ve spent more time at home 
in the past 2 years
than the decade before that

my close family is not infected by fear,
i am the most fearful
not from the virus
but i fear the hassles of going around
like you dont get food abroad if not in 3G
whatever that meant to them

but there is a gray zone
the not so dystopian world 
away from the zealots
where things are possible
and hands get shaken
and food is served “illegally”
air in a warm room is shared
cake is eaten by hand

of course i meet those who are most similar to myself
as if the eyes know who is paranoid
and who isnt

i am not an anti vaxxer
i don’t feel at home 
in that equally dystopian world
i’ll get my booster soon
and then i’ll raise my shoulders once again: “who carez”

you can’t fight an endemic disease
all viruses naturally mutate
to a form that will
infect as many as possible
and for that, it has to be
as invisible as possible
and shouldnt cause any real harm …
otherwise, replication is halted

8 thoughts on “dystopian

  1. Hi Bert,

    We are exhausted from Covid but New York City is in a very bad way right now with Omicron and my husband is high risk on two different factors so we are not where you are at mentally. Doctors and hospital personnel are getting sick despite all precautions. Fear looms large.

    Take care,

    • i hope things get better in NY soon. walaa and i seem to lead a fearless life, often breaking walls of the ‘not done’. still travelling, going to concerts and musea. the world will have to learn to live with a virus that will not go away soon.
      i am also high risk. but having been in control of asthma for the past 5 years, nothing has changed. i probably got the original covid in march 2020, flying in from Istanbul, when there were no tests, and experienced it as an obnoxious flu.
      October this year i probably caught a delta, and just before Xmas something that might have been an omicron. My winter depression, however, feels a lot worse.

      • No, the virus will not go away. Animals are getting it. We thought we had it a few times and will never know. There can be long term effects from it. Tiredness etc. Maybe the winter depression is affected. Normally I love winter but this winter depression has set in with the setting sun especially. Take care, Bert. I have a friend who says we will get through this when I call. I am not so sure… The U.S. response had been abysmal and continues to be shockingly idiotic but better not go there.

        • The reaction of my government hasnt been any better. we get vacciens, and curfews and closures of culture and social things. We try to live as before, but often feel like flies on a car window.

    • idk exactly what you mean, but i’ll take a booster shot next week.
      i am more or less contributing my opinion about covid, especially omikron and successors, to a large audience inside my country.
      then … my mind/body/soul/whatever need reconnection all the time. but not with everything at the same time, visiting a couple of friends per month … visiting a museum at least once a month, a foreign city … a concert. yes, i’m alive

  2. Hi, Bert! Good to see you here. Long time, no see. The virus has killed my imagination of all to be appreciated and fixated on fear of loss of those near and dear. A hard time. Good new years wishes to you, despite all.

    • Hi Ellen,
      indeed a long time. big life changes, that needed most of my energies. At the same time adjusting for Covid now already for 22 months in a row. My patience with politics, media and family is over. One needs to live. We need to breath and be creative. The fear factor is a passive reaction. We need ‘normal’ or better than normal lives.
      Anyway, we all kept our heads above the water. Did the impossible, and had fun too.
      Compliments of the seasons, and hop e to talk later.

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