28th monologue …

if i were to die tomorrow
what would i regret
not having experienced
not having been
not having known

i would regret,
not seeing you tomorrow
in our past last vcall
as there was none today,
i would have missed seeing your face
less than twenty-four hours ago

i would regret,
not having been able
to take a fast train to london
and meet you there,
and embrace your warm body
through your warm winterclothes
playing with my fingers through your hair
and the hug of a lifetime, announced months ago,
would never have been realized

i would regret,
not having satisfied my skin hunger
were i would have wanted to experience
this feeling of two naked bodies
lying still together
in a timeless spoon or hug or both
you might have bitten my shoulder
i would have whispered
‘i love you’ in your ear

i would regret,
not having been able
to travel with you
and show you my cities
to walk around these dark forests
where i find the inspiration
to listen, together with you,
to these words now written

i would regret,
not going to Muscat with you
were things are arranged,
and doing some whale spotting
enjoying the freedom of being
far away from the known
far away from my thoughts

i would regret,
never having seen
your family friends and siblings
never having introduced you to mine
never having enjoyed
the company of those dear to you
never having shared
the company of those dear to me

i would regret,
never having seen a future with you
were the past is never sufficient
i would never have seen our love grow
evolve beyond what we have now
the endless growth,
i would never see that
even if it would ever end,
even if it would never end


Picture by walaa september 2019 – @ksa – iphone – x_20190904_1843.jpg

 

8 thoughts on “28th monologue …

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