Am i conditioned
To desire
What i desire?

Am i conditioned
by all experiences
And the like / not-like factor
on those?

If I ask myself the question,
What do I want
What do I want in life
Am i not conditioned by all experiences in life
And ‘my’ opinion on those?

Even the answer:
“I want to create”
Might as well be conditioned
by the like-factor of creativity

If I ‘condition’ myself
To condition myself,
Is this not a consequence of
All the experiences in life
And the want/will/desire to change.

And is not the desire to change,
And the way how to do so
A consequence of all previous experiences

Leading to the logical emptiness …
Of circular thinking
And no inherent anything
No really original thought:

Sooner or later
Must have the right conditioning
To go for this ‘original’ desire …

Which might lead
To inconsolable nihilism …
Next an ‘unoriginal’ rebuilding from scratch

And many MORE cycles of all the above


Until the nihilism is met
With complete indifference
And life is lived
The way it


Picture by bvdb (whoisbert) aug 2017 – @home – Nikon D3300 — x_dsc_7338


6 thoughts on “unfurling

  1. I prefer to believe that I do not act totally from conditioned responses. I studied that in psychology in college and didn’t like it much then. Funny when, then, I probably DID act from conditioning. My stroke reset all my markers, bringing me back to the nearly blank slate. I am a completely different person now. Now, I also truly believe in the Law of Attraction (Quantum Physics, explained well by Pam Grout). This creating will be mine.
    Well-written and thought-provoking,

    • In this short piece I claim that “You are the entirety of the ‘machine’ that is you and its recorded history”
      whether this is true or not, does not seem to matter at all.
      In the end, every day is a new experience, that you can be open to or closed to. That is a choice, perhaps often on automatic following the above, but perhaps it is really a personal choice. And whether true or not, in discovery mode we are probably more directed by your mentioned law.
      Always great to see you, Scott.
      Have a wonderful week!!!

  2. If you know this is how it is with ‘desire’, knowledge, consciousness, awareness knocks out the ignorance peg and the whole thing is seen… weet je wat ik bedool?

    • the tags are different, but when rereading, and replacing nihilism with emptiness, and indifference with non-attachment, consciousness with awareness …
      there is not much more to say, which might well be the answer to the few questions remaining in that crazy head of mine … the perspective is different, and nothing has changed … als je begrijpt wat ik bedoel 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s