conscious …

consciousness rises, … an alarm clock … a schedule … Drivers License

there is a need to stay longer, horizontally. after some undetermined time, legs are stretched, clothes are sought … hair is combed, dogs are fed then put outdoors for a couple of minutes —  the evening before many things one does during an ordinary morning have already been done

it is time to go now. it’s 6 am, and the exam starts in 45 minutes. we will take two cars, so we can respond to our ordinary schedules after this is dealt with

awareness identifies a nearly silent mind, then consciousness sees a flock of seagulls … very low, 15 of them … and a beautiful moon, in a dark blue sky with the sun still below the horizon

consciousness waits for her to start and drive towards the center, then it follows her car

6 am, and not much traffic. “Do they work that early?”, mind interrupts, then mind backgrounds again, then mind asks what does the driving, cause consciousness is not conscious about it. it’s like breathing, or walking. who does the walking? awareness can be aware of it and bring it to consciousness — perhaps consciousness and awareness are just two sides of the same coin … one is passive, the other active … or not (interrupts mind)

waiting for a traffic light, and finding her waiting at another one of those 2 minutes later.  she takes a strange road. driver remembers that his sister used to live here … 25 years ago …
we pass barracks of a military center. some armed vehicles. now mind remembers this short-cut. one minute later and we park

a disconcerting observation: the right headlight doesn’t shine. we look for a replacement, but we don’t have any. my headlights have a different form factor. what a word. it would be useless to swap cars. she’s not used to this one

other people start arriving. i hear the screeching sound of a gate opening. barely 6.30 and 5 nervous people are standing in line at a slow counter

consciousness feels abdominal pain. consciousness finds a toilet. consciousness notices that it is one-of-many feeling this same pain, and mind determines that it will have to wait …

we are called. it’s a friendly man in his forties. he explains what we are going to do. he says i cannot speak or do anything, except to avoid disaster …
mind keeps quiet … somehow that abdominal pain went away all by itself … and then it comes back when he asks her to identify the cooling liquid under the hood: she points at the windshield washer liquid. he asks to check the headlights: we know that one is broken. he mumbles something about a clear day and no need. he wants her to drive out of the parking space into a small sideway. there is no space. someone parked his car really close, and there is barely a meter behind us. she tries, but the examinator sees the futility of his question, and changes plan. “Go that way”

… and then Right, and Right again, and Turn the car here, and Park there,…

mind notices that never before she parked that well. mind notices that it is tired, having woken up this early. consciousness notices a policecar on a near collision course … but both drivers react appropriately. mind sighs of relief once more when it notices the road back to the center

against some expectations,
mind hears the words

now consciousness feels happy

Picture by bvdb (whoisbert) april 2015 – @home – Nikon D3300 – x_DSC_1245


11 thoughts on “conscious …

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