any day

today is a wonderful day to “die”

a magnificent sunrise
golden light
so much peace
I feel weak
there is pain in the heart

perhaps today is a good day to “die”

some fear
for the unknown
a jump into the abyss

today might be a good day :-/

clouds covering the sunrise
a quarrel about a t-shirt
where’s that peace

really, … it isn’t a good morning …

a dog cannot keep its stomach together
there is a telephone that doesn’t stop ringing

today is just another day

taking breakfast
watching kids TV
bringing the kid to school

tomorrow

the inescapable steadily postponed
worries blasting the former peace
some keeping me alive
always things to be done …

that wonderful morning that you could “die” …

that unmoveable and  peaceful moment,
many of those moments,
I am life and death together
and then it wouldn’t matter
if it happened …


Picture by bvdb (whoisbert) march 2015 – @home – Nikon D3300 – x_DSC_0612/611/607

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20 thoughts on “any day

  1. Bert, wishing you a deserved, if not unexpected moment of bliss, right in the here now, in the balance between here and there. We are indeed life and death together. It’s a lot to keep together… 🙂

    Michael

  2. We are all in the process of dying, even the infant. If only we kept this in mind without being morose or morbid, we could better prioritize and enjoy. So easy to get caught up in the tangle of storylines, which is the subject of my next post. Cheers.

  3. Oh, just LOVE the first photo, eye to eye with a bee! Fantastic! Second photo nice, too. Guess we all have things that pull us out of peace. Going to keep trying to at least step back as you are and observe the pulling away. My nemesis, navigating the streets of New York City! Hope the pain in your heart was not literal. Wishing you some peace this weekend! Best, ellen

    • Hi Ellen. Thank You for the encouragement. This post was based on heart arythmia that I experienced this morning. It didn’t last long. I suspected two medicines interacting prescribed to me one week ago as the source. One was a 4th generation quinolone stealth anti-biotic, and the other one a low dosed short course of methylprednisolone. I never felt well on either the past 6 days, and stopped both yesterday, unaware that you just can’t stop methylprednisolone without experiencing some withdrawal effects. Leading to a mild Adrenal insufficiency. I felt a lot better after taking half a dose of the steroid, and will progressively lower for the next 3 days.
      Yesterday I went to a long time friend of mine, who works as a surgeon in a regional hospital, to get a simple 3€ box of standard co-amoxiclav; something neither of the 6 doctors I ‘multi-experienced’ in the past 6 weeks thought appropriate. Now 36 hours later, I’m feeling better than before Christmas.
      My nemesis: crying and quarelling children in choir with their upset mother. 🙂

      • Oh, Bert, I am sorry. Docs don’t tell you about the drugs, stopping them suddenly or side effects. You would think one of the 6 doctors would. My husband is on steroids since Thanksgiving. He got pneumonia and then the flu. They lower your resistance to infection. He was out of work for the longest time! But 6 doctors!! I hope you will be okay. Please take care. And I guess we all have our nemeses(sp?). Be well, Ellen

        • They did tell me about the drug, as it is not the first time I got them, but I thought I was on the lowest dose anyway and forgot about it the next day. When my family got me angry, this released a lot of adrenaline, preventing a visit to emergency. Which is funny … a positive side of anger 🙂
          I didn’t get either pneumonia, nor a flu, … my theory is that common cold can sometimes trigger conditions that give bacteria (always the same, and always present but under control — like a lung flora) a certain advantage in someone with this kind of bronchial asthma. And I also think that some other strain of nastiness did remain from a previous winter season. I got a pertussis that degenerated into pneumonia 2 years ago (see blog april 2013) and perhaps some of those also needed to be completely eliminated.
          I didn’t work for 6 weeks, but then I didn’t have many freelance jobs in february, so didn’t have to decline anything. The 6 doctors … coincidence that my general practitioner went on holiday, and that 2 former specialists got pensioned last year.
          Hope everything is well with your husband. And that he can go back to work.
          All the best!!! 🙂

          • Oh dear, this does sound serious, with adrenaline preventing a trip to ER. Never would think of a physically positive side to anger. My husband also took Predisnone (sp.?)and an asthma strong spray which he is still on. It was pneumonia from Nov. to Dec. and then he went back to work and had a client who had the flu come in and in his weakened state got hit hard by some very tenacious virus. I got it, too, and it lingers. He also has asthma and Restrictive Lung Disease so a cold is serious for him, as, it seems, it is for you,too. He just went back to work after two months last week. I do hope you will be fine. Do take care of yourself!! Enjoy your Sunday and hopefully no choir mishaps with everyone upset. Best wishes, Ellen

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