Yesterday I filled my time with reading and reasoning on simple things that cannot be known by mental mind like karma or reincarnation. Simple, because its knowledge or the absence of it would have little effect on my life.
I also contemplated some strange and difficult paradoxes, like ‘the experiencer is the experience(d)’
Today, there is this relaxed state. I go to a customer, bite through some roadworks then look for an alternative tramline. There is a line here — I took it but once before. I want to find out where the end station is, and whether I can park my car there.
Roadworks and the ensuing discovery route with obstacles, often makes me very irritable, but it doesn’t happen today. I seem to be very lucky as tram 39 leaves moments after I enter it. Unexpectedly, the driver in connecting line 94, waits more than a minute just for me. Mind remains very silent, more like uninterupted classic radio. The ever changing scenery and the coming and going of people feels like a joyful dance. There is no judgement, no google-in-my-head commenting on what is happening.
At work, the meetings are unusually open: to the point, without the usual holding back of information and without the affirming of uncertainties. There is no silence while doing these talks, but there is no mind chatter either.
On the way home silence returns. Even more silence than this morning. While waiting for my connection I notice a patch of green grass, somewhat distant in a park, and feel awed by this greenest of greens. “the subject is the object” ?!? Am I that grass for just an instant? I will never know. It is fleeting.
My bus on rails has arrived. Many faces, young and old, sometimes greeted, often not, no judgemental chatter in my head. They are all beautiful. One didn’t comb her hair. She looks older than 80. I would help her, but apparently she doesn’t need any help at all, so I observe.
There is the end-station. I gratefully greet the driver. My car is still there.
The driving is the beginning of the rise of self. There are rare and unpronounced judgments from the commenter in my head on the behaviour of rogue drivers. Overall, the drive is very silent. Self needs friction with others to manifest itself.
I don’t know.
Perhaps this will happen
someday while unaware
letting me peek afterwards
into the meaning of this paradox.
Pictures by bvdb (whoisbert) september 2014 – @Home – Canon Ixus HS230 – IMG_8079/8080/7859