free and tired

click the ‘thumbnails’, to enlarge …

they came from nowhere
not bigger than a dime
some only half that size
millimetres above the lawn
mowed 3 days ago

in between
tiny leaves
of shamrock

the ‘ephemeral’

* – * – * – *

nature takes its own time
for everything
but it never
appears tired

* – * – * – *

a huge conflict underneath
creating a lot of fatigue

just beginning to understand
what burn-out could mean
something like this fatigue
to the power of 4

in my case caused by perhaps
the repression of unhappiness
source “unknown”

an unconscious
‘i don’t want to do this’

obviously resistance
against what is

next the emptiness,
again the emptiness,
after the work

the release of all frustration
the venting of all the misery
when preparing the un-preparable
when trying to get there in time
when trying to get back home
in less than 90 minutes

a struggle,
a battle
a relentless
resisting

of reality

this moment
that resistance
is past


Pictures by bvdb (whoisbert) july 2014 @home – Canon Ixus HS230 – IMG_7600/7601/7602/7604/7605/7608/7595/7596

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10 thoughts on “free and tired

  1. Very awe-some photos, Bert. Love the velvety underside of the last one. Even if you are burnt out and/or depressed, you haven’t lost your touch. And if you rest up and take some time to regroup you can replenish yourself and/or find out what is behind: “I don’t want to do this” although it does seem life is made up of lots of those moments. Feel better, Bert. Take some time for yourself.

    • Thank You, Ellen. There is no depression, just a feeling of being sooooooo tired…. there is a need for a lot of sleep, and I’ve noticed also for different food …
      Besides all that, there is energy to have fun, like this morning; although I slept less than 6 hours: the books kept tugging my mind so I gave in and finished that story between 3.30 and 4.30am.

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