stone

click the thumbnails, to enjoy a larger view of these early muscari/grape hyacinth

visited my 90 year old aunt,
and took some pictures
of these beautiful grape hyacinths

then witnessed their decade long
intolerance with each other

she stopped tolerating
his craziness
fifteen years ago …
now they are doomed:
intolerance without
a will to find a solution

sentences both parties

which chronic dissatisfaction
brought this about …

why is that?

why do standpoints get carved into stone
when some brains grow older
and there is no more will to come to peace
no more patience to listen to the other
appearances are not kept up any more.

things otherwise easily tolerated
now feed an endless and deaf monologue
from both sides
stand up for my rights is always there

then relationships cease to be relationships
they must have disliked each other for a long time
and now, immobile,
being in the same rooms
all the time

façades …
impossible
to be
kept up.


Pictures by bvdb (whoisbert) march 2014 – @home – Canon Ixus HS230 – IMG_6552-6555-6590-6592-6593

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13 thoughts on “stone

  1. When two people have things to learn (for their spiritual growth) they are brought together for this purpose. That is how karma works. Sometimes they learn and sometimes not. When the lesson is not learned they have to return to do it all over again until they do with anyone who suits the bill precisely.

      • Don’t make a big deal of this learning process, Bert, it is no more and no less than anything we learn from experience at any time. My son, aged about 1+ was about to touch a hot tea pot and I told him it would burn him. Nevertheless, he touched it and got an “Ouch!”. Just simple learning from experience which here was 1. Listen to advice and 2. Tea pots can be hot.

  2. When my parents were in their 80s, my dad developed Alzheimer’s. At first my mom tried to care for him, but it became too hard for her. She yelled at him constantly and threatened him with a nursing home. I ended up bringing him up to MA (they lived in MD) and gave her the chance to come too. She did not want to come. Her friends could not understand how she could let me take him, but I understood that she was burned out. After two years, she moved o[ here with me too. By now, he was very far gone and in a nursing home. She visited him every day until he died. They had been married 68 years when he died. Now, she is 98 and has dementia and lives with me. I often think back on their last years together, and their last GOOD years together. The good years ended about 10 years before he died. But I believe the love was always there. Sometimes an entire lifetime together can be quite hard.

  3. How sad! So much for the “golden years”– as my 82 year old aunt used to say they are tarnished. Yet she and my uncle loved each other to the end, as did my parents. Is he the only one she can no longer tolerate? Just wondered because pain and ill health can make one intolerable and intolerant. I have seen it many times in hospitals, in the dying, in myself.

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