overwhelmed

click the thumbnails, to enjoy the pictures full size …

how odd
to get .. to be 

o – v – e – r – w – h – e – l – m – e – d
by   A N G E R

caused by
accumulated
powerlessness

and you even realize
at that moment
that it never lasts
but you are
too deep in it
and remain
carried
… away

and then
you sit there,
sad and …
overpowered
by a reality
that you
didn’t want

till …

how will I get out of it?
how did you get out of it ??

got sad of it
got sad of that anger
got sad of that powerlessness

then got hugged
read a story

G  o  n  e


Pictures by bvdb (whoisbert) february 2014 – @vlotgras (Herent BE) – Canon Ixus HS230 – IMG 6339-6350-6349-6356

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34 thoughts on “overwhelmed

    • that power being “to be in control of any situation” and the fear of not being in control any more, or indeed never really being in control … just another illusion.
      So we are attached to an illusion, and the fear of losing our illusion leads to frustration and anger …

  1. Hugs are the best medicine!
    And in some way anger may give us back the power we kind of lacked when it all got accumulated… At least that’s what I often experienced.

    Much love and a big hug,
    Steffi

    • Deep down, the root of anger is a (any?) fear … but what fears exactly find their way up the ladder to become a full blown anger, and why, might be the key to living more in the present.
      The angry release to regain power is better not experienced by others, so I doubt whether this release it is the right way …
      It’s complicated, and certainly expressed in a language that is not our own …
      … and hugs reciprocated … 🙂

      • 🙂

        I agree, the root of anger usually (always?) is fear. When we repress our true expression because we act based on fear (in the shape of shame, guilt, etc.) we get angry. Acting that anger out – especially when projected on others (or ourselves) is surely rather destructive. Noticing the anger and allowing it to transform into our original power (the restrained love) turns rage into courage.

        Yet, sometimes it gets to us and all we can do is letting it out – and then hopefully we are in a place where nobody gets hurt (like screaming over a lonely lake or smashing old porcelain). It’s like a thunderstorm: loud and electrifying at first – clear air and washed grounds afterwards. 😉

        • Noticing the anger … yes, but …

          Not only is it most difficult: .. most of our reactions have become hard wired habits. Only slowing down to a level that makes it dangerous to drive a car will allow for this.
          Also, another thing, I found out myself that noticing it while it is too powerful is sometimes not enough. I should short-circuit the mental mind that is running around in circles, and feeding the physical/hormonal system with cortisol and adrenaline.
          Any frustration is always a story/script in the head that things will not turn out right. I wrote about anger avoiding strategies here:
          https://whoisbert.wordpress.com/2013/12/13/anger-avoiding-strategies/

          So I dare to contradict the ‘mindfullness-people’. One has to rewire the habits, and mindfulness will make me aware of it that I have to rewire, but mindfulness alone is not going to do the rewiring entirely by itself.

          “Once it gets to us, all we can do is letting it out.”
          I don’t agree with that. Only the last 5% of it 🙂
          (1) Short term: One has to defuse the adrenaline built up (yes, physical exercise can be throwing stones in a lake and shouting at each stone — but a good work-out or a swim, and why not gardening goes faster. When we get angry during bad weather/in the night we would need an exercise machine …
          (2a) Getting rid of the cortisol is a mid-term thing. Stress hormones take days to built up, and days to go down. Having enough sleep for 2 weeks in a row + a daily one hour walk will do the thing
          (2b) At least when the cause of stress is also taken care of/brought back to real proportions. Contemplation can bring this into a better perspective.
          (3) Long Term: mindfully play back the situation and propose a possible correct action back in time. This helps a long term change: change the habit that caused the irritation to become full blown anger.

          (now this is a lengthy reply — I seriously invite you to start the replay and find out about your anger scenarios // find out how to defuse acute anger, how to get rid of stress .. — but you are probably already doing that, most human beings are anger-experts 🙂 )

            • We have this ‘written-not-native-language’ barrier, on our blogs — so we fail to communicate from the heart … but that is also part of the fun 🙂

  2. I used to get that way too, overwhelmed by powerlessness and that frustration that often disguises itself as anger — because I find anger is a very rare emotion if you start really thinking about the feeling you are having …. then I found my self sitting in a jail cell really, really sad, and thought, “surely there is a better way to handle this.”

    • yes, this is probably frustration, and not anger, although there is a rainbow of colors between the two … and rage beyond all that … and I wonder what is beyond rage … (going berzerk 🙂 ) Besides in my native dutch, this entire rainbow is labelled at different intervals …
      Perhaps I need an editor.
      And yes, if we’d clearly think about it (what is difficult at that moment) the anger/frustration would fizzle out … like an ember.

        • … that is the mindful phase after the anger (in my case) — that’s how we get to know the whereabouts of our ‘unwanted’ dark side. (perhaps that dark horse in the 4th picture: i had to ‘gimp’ it to make it visible, now it looks as if there is a light inside its shed 🙂 )

          • indeed! i think the biggest thing for me was 2 not just think “I’m angry” but to have the thought “I feel angry, but am I really?” … I did the same thing with happy too as that can often be confused with contentment. oh, the names we use for our mind to process this experiential journey! have a beautiful one … I just always love your expressions … inspiring on many levels!

            • This knowledge about fear and anger, sadness and happiness, depression and love can make you heal, can make you whole … but it does not extinguish the fire/passion, unlike most who follow the monastic way. In fact, it enhances it, and makes life a very interesting adventure to say the least. While at the same time you are neither detached nor attached … being and the river, and the water-molecule in the river, being part of the ocean, and having an ocean within.

            • oh goodness no, extinguish never, just organize it for handling and deeper understanding. that’s the best ive discovered this far and still searching of course …. extinguish anger …. monks …. yeah, I’d wonder what that would do to so many people’s sex lives if we could extinguish anger! lol

  3. I find that I have to go inside my strong emotions and hug my child self. Growing up without hugs or nurturing left me to figure out how to be my own assurance…….still working on it.

    • There are times when I see that child in another, and then I’m moved beyond compassion.
      I guess, here in this post, I expose my inner disappointed child …
      I should reconnect, not only during times of creativity, but also in times like this, … and do what you suggest.

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