feel free to click the thumbnails, to enlarge …
So there is this edgy feeling,
and whoisbert thinks,
“what is this?
it feels like anxiety,
it must be stress.”
Yes, we get better
in identifying the bugs.
The Ramsay meter pointing to 100. Why?
This is a good thing: reading the Ramsay meter.
So I write down my thoughts in a diary …
and while writing, I notice the previous page
from a fortnight ago, saying exactly the same thing …
“There is anxiety and stress — although the need is little … “
Now that is weird.
And 14 days ago
it was also about work
… an innate fear of
not having prepared myself enough.
But …, there really is no reason to worry at all.
This work is close to routine.
I don’t really have to prepare.
I know what I’m going to do.
So, where is this groove in my brain coming from, why is it there, and how to get rid of it?
Where it comes from:
school and the endless tests and exams
for which I never prepared,
or always procrastinated
till the last moment,
… and sometimes I failed.
This itself being the consequence of
never having had to do much
to pass, before.
Why is it still there:
I still do not prepare in time too often,
and one can always do more than what one has done already.
How to get rid of it 1:
seeing the futility of “one can always do more”
which is a crazy thought and leading to fear.
How to get rid of it 2:
Prepare in time,
scheduling in a correct way
with enough space to cope with ‘unplanned’ things.
How to get rid of it 3:
Not giving unnecessary time
to unimportant unplanned things
Not waiting to start the tasks that are waiting,
even if they are still far in the future.
[making a schedule and sticking to it,
and realising that this will make me a happier person,
having done all i could, and giving me real free time
without worries, stress, anxiety or fear]
How to get rid of it 4:
Just do something on the job
and see where this leads to.
Do these 4 points remove the stress-groove?
Not exactly, unfortunately …
These deep and very old grooves
will only slowly erode
when having experienced the
of having done all I could,
many, many times
in a long row.