Frustration(4): ACTION

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This is part 4 (final part) in this series about frustration ( October 2013).
part 1, part 2 and part 3 can be found in the links hereunder ..
frustration(1): HELPLESSNESS
frustration(2): FEAR, PAST and PRIDE
frustration(3): directed ANGER


(1) Giving up and walking out could be such an action. But we don’t like to be called a coward. Remember, we are proud 🙂  We don’t want to be used like a floormat. … ?

(2) The action could be sublime and hidden as apathy. We shrug our shoulders and move the pain of helplessness to the levels of the unconscious. This is were the volcanoes are building up 🙂

(3) Most often the anger is verbal: the expression on the face, the violent outburst of our voice, we are unfortunately all familiar with it. From both sides … and unfortunately this can escalate and should be avoided if possible. When the other party is there, action implies a certain collision course, conflict, pain, wounds to be healed later (if ever).

(4) Cussing ALONE (like (3) but without an audience) is a ‘better’ way out. When you are alone, and the windows are closed. 🙂

I experienced this as a longer process. My latest employment related cussing lasted for 3 weeks. Every morning. Like a ritual. Sometimes a couple of hours. As a freelancer I took the freedom to ‘enjoy’ the ‘cussing’ sunrise alone for 3 weeks. And then finally it was gone. Perhaps I could have gone biking for 2 hours with faster results, but I didn’t.

(5) Most often, my own personal conflicts are walked out and (silently) cussed for 20 minutes in a nearby forest. This is not (1) + (4), there is no give up yet, it will take as long as the walk needs to last.

Winter is coming. Then it is more difficult to go there …. AARRGH!

So we get stuck with a rush of adrenaline. Apparently long term adrenaline, surfacing when only thinking about a given situation. Perhaps even cortisol. But when adrenaline is not necessary (there is no tiger), then cussing is one way (but certainly not the best) to get rid of it.

(6) … And then Bill said: “Stop! Inhale deeply through your nose, feel the air go into you. Expand your lungs and abdomen, release it slowly, feel your lungs empty and repeat. Experience each breath, and your heart will slow, your muscles relax, and your mind clear. Control your breath, control your fear.”

Pictures by bvdb (whoisbert) february 2014 – @home – Canon Ixus HS230 – IMG 6360-6365-6369-6375


2 thoughts on “Frustration(4): ACTION

  1. Cussing alone seems harmless but sometimes I wonder if it doesn’t stoke the flames of anger. Exercise is good– something you can throw yourself into. Or tears, though I am not sure of this at all. Good post. Honest post.

    • I don’t know .. I barely ever do it in traffic, so there I have unlearned the habit, but in the particular case of ‘taking over a course without any help from the previous teacher / even laughing at me’ it was a lot less anonymous than traffic — and telling him what I thought seemed not an option — so I had to send my frustration to the walls. But for me this was the most interesting experience, to observe my ‘self’.

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