Frustration(2): FEAR, PAST and PRIDE

Malabar Grey Hornbill: Ocyceros griseus

Malabar Grey Hornbill: Ocyceros griseus (click to enlarge)

Our resistance to start working on something, is based on bad experiences from our past. A lot has been written on procrastination, but it has to do with the words ‘boring’ or ‘difficult’ or both. Rebellion is there, and a lack of motivation.

Deep down, there is both fear of failure and fear of success. We are as much afraid of growth as we are afraid of disapproval. We are always afraid of change.

Our reluctance to ask for help is based on fear. The ‘google-in-our-head’ reminds us of negative experiences in the past when we asked for help. The undesirability of those situations dooms us to silence.

This is not a peaceful silence. This silence is only a silence of the mouth. The mind is often in overdrive. Past is the source of fear. Mind digs up the fear. Mind is stuck. It can’t ask for help. It is afraid to do so, perhaps even genuinely proud. Mind digs up the situations where we felt really bad after asking for help, invoking more fear. Mind goes round in circles multiplying the fear again and again.

Pride is back. A question for help addressed to the wrong person and we will be ridiculed for the rest of our lives. The person might ruin business, considering us unfit for the task entrusted to us. There is fear to lose money hence status. We need money to keep ourselves from falling in disgrace in the class-full societies we all live in. Keeping up appearances is very important, no matter how much you fool yourself that it isn’t, in these realms, and what about the children… . To keep up appearances, we cling to our status, our pride.

(to be continued)

Pictures by bvdb (whoisbert) June 2013 – @Antwerp-zoo – Canon Ixus HS230 – IMG3125

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