passion is an energy level
I already talked about this in this post: passion …
what about anger
Well, first: anger is a secondary mental emotion, a combination of the primary emotion: sadness, the absence of love: fear, and a mental aspect – a story: He’s taken my seat, if I do not react he will do it again – I have to show my teeth – when I did this in the past it worked too, it shows that I am strong and not to be messed with.
so you want to control your anger …
If we reduce passion to an absolute minimum, we really control emotions, primary and secondary. There is no energy left to feed them. But we then become like robots, uncreative, uninspired, without awe, without feelings. And wasn’t it a theme in SciFi literature, to give androids some feelings too?
I actually have encountered people who do this consciously. Talking to them at first gives one the impression that they ‘play’ the victim, but they do not. They don’t seem to care about anything. No passion, no anger, no love, no compassion. (indeed, no compassion without passion)
OK, so we do not touch passion,
we could try and control emotion
(at least that’s what we think).
self control and self discipline …
Control and discipline means effort: there are several ways …
repression -> we stow the problem away in the subconscious, but we get head-aches, sleeping disorder, depression or worse. In stead of getting angry and seeing that we are, there is this terrible migraine.
I often get to feel very tired when not expressing what I repress. When I identify my being tired when being asked to do the things that I do not want to do. Then I’m unable to refuse, either because of repression mechanism from childhood or out of some strange politeness (which comes down to the same thing), or because there is no other way out. I then I feel so very tired, at once!
Repression is not healthy. The energy finds its way and attacks body, emotional system and self esteem.
suppression -> consciously operating on emotion – only mind can do that, only the mental part of mind. So we all know how it works. We make fists in anger, but our words are well chosen. The anger somehow dissipates. But the energy does not disappear. The second time the same thing happens, extra energy is fed into the sleeping volcano. And the energy keeps building up. Until mind cannot control it anymore.
Either the energy gets released on the spot, or minutes, or hours later, shouting at another person for no reason (abuse of an easier victim), kicking a sign board (Vick the Vandal is born), … the energy get released.
sublimation -> using the energy of the anger – building a work of art with some mahogany board, a hammer, and one thousand 5 inch nails. Creating that very sad but extremely beautiful painting, an expression of your sad soul which refuses to release its tears. Making music. Listening to music. …
substitution -> reaching out for a cigarette, a drink, … any addiction will do
Needless to say, this does not only apply to anger. Frustration at any level, not being able to express sadness, not being able to express sexuality, … etcetera.
A habit is shortcut in the mind. We might see that anger itself, is often just a habit. Not every action needs a reaction. Not every sadness has to be translated into fear of losing something.
We can reprogram our own mind not to react when provoked this or that way.
Like teaching a dog only to bark when strangers are around, and not at the milk man, or at shouting children.
Learn to know how your mind works, dis-identify from mind when not using it. 🙂
Anger is a reaction from the mind.
If you know how your mind and your emotions work, this can lead to the identification of anger, instead of identification with anger. I am not the anger, the anger is in my mind, but if I don’t feed it, if I don’t recall stories, the anger will perhaps just show on my face (or not), and fade away.
The anger itself will fizzle out.
However at the same time, right action can emerge. Sometimes action is necessary. Such action, when seeing things as they really are, is always compassionate and loving.
Insight is difficult, but this is what mindfulness and awareness is all about. Not identifying with mind, or anger, or shame. Seeing the stories of the mind, not acting on them. Noticing them.
A thought is nothing more than a thought.
An opinion is nothing more than an opinion.
If you can catch yourself, that you are communicating one or the other opinion.
If you see at that moment, that this is just an opinion, just one, nothing more.
Not unlike in meditation when you are watching a thought.
Then perhaps you can also catch yourself when you want to defend, just that opinion.
And you can become aware that most opinions do not need to be defended.
They can be juxtaposed in a mosaic and looked upon from different perspectives.
And perhaps then, seeing all perspectives next to each other,
might lead you to a greater truth,
a lesser reaction,
and right action.