… will … (4)
I feel tired now, and I want to go to bed. This is a want from the body.
There is no free will in wants from the body.
The only free will I have is to postpone.
But how free is this procrastination?
It has to do with other possible tasks waiting before going to bed,
and their eventual fulfilment.
Where did these tasks come from?
Who invented them?
Are they addiction on action?
Right now I want to write a blog post.
I feel an obligation towards the reader.
But honestly, I most often write for my own pleasure.
Perhaps there is a will to achieve something.
How free am I writing this blog post?
How free was I starting this blog in the first place?
Will is to give direction to desire.
Will always starts as a desire.
A desire for pleasure, fame, power, … A desire to avoid mainly psychological pain.
Will is needed to become a lawyer. You might have a desire to become a lawyer, but without perseverance you will be a victim of the desire to avoid the pain of boring study books.
So this is will: a desire emphasized by mind, keeping a long term goal in mind!
Will is desire and mental activity combined
An ordinary desire is short lived. It gets a yes or a no.
The situation you are in is usually the deciding factor.
There is not much thinking.
The short term difficulty of getting what I want,
is compared to the pleasure of fulfilling my desire.
The outcome is predictable.
The will to reach a certain goal, needs planning, time and perseverance. The outcome is less predictable.
Our plan might not see many great difficulties on our road to ‘the endpoint’, and these difficulties might be handled as short term desires, interfering with our long term plan.
Is this kind of will, free will?
Desires are often not ‘free will’, they are determined by needs, wants and the memory of past pleasure and pain. This will is built on a first desire to achieve. Is a desire to achieve really free? Isn’t it our past, our conventional thinking and the conformist society that tells us what to achieve and how to do it? Have most other achievements not to do with money and power, hoarding or addiction? And doing the opposite is equally not free, since doing the opposite, one is still bound by the same situation to begin with.
So where does freedom start?
It starts by seeing a situation as it really is. Without looking back, without looking at a far away future, without thinking about power, status, what other people will think, your own conventions and so on. This freedom is a very difficult thing. There is no security when you look at the things the way they are.
And then there is a last problem.
If I see things as they really are,
without interference of past and future,
what criteria am I going to use to express my freedom?
This is easy: without past pulling my action, there will be no fear.
When there is no fear, I can only go to the other side of fear.
If there is no fear, my action is always love/compassion!
My inner force of attraction to awe and inspiration,
the inner force seen in little children being curious in everything and everyone,
making friends within seconds,
and opening their mouths in awe when seeing or hearing something they admire.
So even here, there is no real freedom,
this freedom is always the path of love!