… will … (3)

free will

I analyse my own acts of free will these days.
I do indeed see will but I do not see freedom.

As far as I look at what I do, I see decisions and acting on it and perseverance.
Decisions, planning and perseverance are what we call will.

But everything is part of cause and effect.
So there is a question of whether any act is coming out of a really free conscious decision,
or whether it was just hanging in a field of possibilities.
A field where my morality and conscious self chooses the most suitable option.
This depends on the mask I’m wearing while making the decision.
It depends on my conditioning in that field of mental operation
(thinking, concepts, memory, interpretation and opinions).

will is a long term desire

Will follows long term desires. Will makes a plan to reach the object of desire. Then tries to follow that plan.
Desire is an interrupt. (see below)
ill is a mental operator on an interrupt.
Who is the operator? Obviously, the operator is not different from self. Self is usually identifying with mind.
How ‘free’ is the operator? How free is your mind?

our inner circuitry, although a billion times more complex than a computer, might still be only that, physical circuits ...

our inner circuitry, a billion times more complex than a computer, might still be only that, physical circuits …

what is an interrupt?

Sensory attention,
Intuition and
things like Waking up …

… they operate almost all in the same way, as interrupting our regular processing, our thinking and reasoning, our sleeping, our doing. You might see inspiration and intuition as on a higher rung than desire or sensory attention, but they all seem to be using the same brain circuitry to get through to self.

So they all must be at least partly programmable, and they are probably already programmed. In other words, they operate according to the habits of who you are.

Your ‘free’ will is in fact nothing but your mental operator,
your mind, the google in your head, based on memory,
and most often selecting the first search result.

And this operator, bound to the past, is operating
on things popping up, called desire,
desire itself based on the experience of the past,
wanting pleasure and avoiding pain.

So your free will is almost entirely based on your past!
How free is that!

could this lead to a nihilist philosophy?

“No freedom!” “Circuits and scripts running all the time.”
“Processes in the physical brain.” “Memory and nothing but past”
“Physical laws in a physical world and universe.”

In the world of mind, this is nihilistic. The mental operator wants to feel important. Wants to be part of a higher ideal. And when it realizes that this operator is nothing more than a mental concept in itself, part of bio-circuitry, it wants to fight to be more important.

but does it matter?

I used to reject this kind of nihilistic insights, but slowly, opening up to things as they are, I have given up on rejecting. This is very liberating.
I have also given up on the gloominess that I initially felt from giving up my old metaphysical worlds. The gloominess of the groundless state.

the three keys to your freedom

There is more than mental operation.
And when we do not identify with this mental monitor in our head,
there is indeed freedom.

These three will lead you to less mind and more freedom:

being in the Present (and adapting your script(s) right here, right now).

Inspiration needs a calmed down mind. When mind is calmed down, the nihilistic view does not matter anymore. It matters that I am.

Creativity needs flow. Flow keeps the mind busy for the tasks it was designed for in the first place. In the zone, or in the flow, our mental operator has no time to think, and interpret, and whine over its present situation.

Present needs awareness. Being right here, right now. You cannot be here right now when your brain is scanning memory, and working like that constant ‘internet in your head’. Again, less mental operator, means more freedom.

freedom in not knowing

I realize that my experiences and experiencing are very limited,
and that what I pretend to see is still far from reality as it is.
I realize that I have no freedom in knowing,
I only have a freedom in not knowing.
Whether I have free will or not seems to become a useless question.
I am part of this huge Universe, and to some I make a difference, but to most I do not.


23 thoughts on “… will … (3)

  1. For years I also considered metaphysics my truth. I was all into free will and manifesting your desires along with all the tips and tricks to make that happen. A couple years ago I had a shift and started heading in a different direction and it’s more difficult. It’s like when you first realize there is no Santa..how can that be? no free will? no creating your own destiny? I’m still struggling with it all…it seems so much easier to believe in Santa. 🙂

    • It is easier to believe in Santa, when you get nice gifts … 🙂
      I took me more or less 6 months to accept the viewpoint of not knowing, although I came to that conclusion 180 days earlier. Tossing and turning the idea. Until someone pointed me the freedom inherent in this unknowing. That gave me great peace, acceptance and a wider perspective.

  2. I like the “freedom in not knowing”. I watch it everyday as people choose what other people tell them to choose from. A very limited freedom that I call bondage. I consider myself still bound to what other people ‘allow’ me to choose from. That is not my will. It is their will. I am sure of it. Can I be sure of it? Is there not a point where my will and theirs is the same? Where none of us has freedom? Is liberation freedom from their will? Or from mine?

    • The freedom of not knowing, is to see things as they are, without conventions or any memory, without past experiences, good or bad. So you forget what the past has told you to remember, you exclude the mind from decision making so to speak.
      But if you do that, you will see that when action ensues, this action can not be chosen. There is only one action to take, and there is no choice to refuse it.
      So the freedom, is a freedom from memory, from knowledge. The knowledge that binds us to whatever we are supposed to do, and only leaves us the choice either to do it, or not to do it. Being bound to the past = No freedom to really take the right action.

      • Aaaargh. Lost my comment again. That will teach me to stop being long-winded. And to stop scrolling down the page, while not finished. Let me see what I can retype from memory.
        Right. I was arguing that I took your comment to be the cleansing of the chakras from the heart chakra down. Letting go of the past, by going in and learn the lessons to be learned from the past. To be able to let go instead of repeating mistakes, and no longer have emotions stop the flow. It sounds quite boring as I retype it. It has already become stale.
        Being able to let go of the past is still knowledge. The knowledge of being able to cleanse, and the new knowledge that surfaces from that cleansing. Being able to tap into a higher mind. But that higher mind is still tied to an even higher mind. Even the 7th mind is tied to a higher mind, otherwise it would have no purpose. This is all irrelevant if there is no after life. Atheist and those who think they ARE god, should live a life that is free. There is no higher power to answer to. Not even government or society. But I am not with those groups. So, I would dislike to come back into this or a similar life, to learn the lessons that I was supposed to learn… again!
        As Krishnamurti expertly explained it is extremely difficult to let go of memory – all I have written so far is already memory, and having typed some of it twice deadened it for me as I was ready to let it go after the first time I typed it. And that is how it should be. To stop myself from retyping that not-knowing is the other side of knowing, and thus no liberation from Sophia until the final liberation. Lol. I ended my comment with applauding you for taking on the challenge of writing about “freedom” and “will”. I was going to leave the topic of action for another time, but that time has arrived. My limited freedom and will are clear. But, I choose to not go into the topic of action, non-action and right action. *applauding* 🙂

        • It was a long and busy weekend. Sorry to have kept you waiting.
          Losing comments has happened too often to me too. The in-line notification bar is better suited for 100 words or less.

          Letting go of the past and chakras – OK – let me think again: I think all chakras can be imbalanced, due to past experiences. Wise men too have their imbalances related to crown chakras – attachment is the demon of the crown chakra. Narrow mindedness is related to third eye, … All those imbalances are a result of wrong learning (past) or of complete ignorance (not ready yet, or never been there).
          But you are right that most imbalances are related to throat and lower chakras. (please mind: I’m not very familiar with chakra science)

          The higher mind, intuition, awe, inspiration …
          I don’t know whether there is knowledge there. At least, it does not seem to be related to mental memory. We can recall the mindwise interpreted experiences from there, but without the context of the higher senses, and often distorted, translated downwards into mental language. But this knowledge is far away from the real experiencing. Neither can we learn to use intuition from a book. Neither can we give names to the colours from a book alone. But there is something i would like to call ‘higher’ intelligence – and whether you like to call this knowledge or intelligence – fact is we cannot communicate about it without using concepts.

          Letting go of memory can not be DONE!
          It HAPPENS. Just like silence happens in meditation. Making your mind silent is not the real thing. It is fake. But this silence that overwhelms, is probably the same thing as memory evaporating. Whether such a moment of minutes can be extended to days or months? Dis-identification from everything is needed for that to happen. But it is not impossible.

          Not-knowing is of course not related to the daily life. It is related to absurd metaphysics, and the downward translation of experiences that surpass the mind. Of course, two people who have similar experiences can use a jargon to talk about it to each other. But only those who have experienced will have an idea what it was about.
          I sometimes encounter this problem reading a translation of Nagarjuna. You cannot translate — except literally (and then it does not make sense) — what you have never encountered.

          Thank you for the applause, but not necessary. A long comment like yours is the biggest applause one can imagine.

          • Yes. There seems to be a big ‘gap’ between the knowledge of the higher mind and the experiencing done in this body. Like a parent knowing how it is to have to grow up in a confusing world, but has to watch the child learn for himself. Different dimensions. The Higher Self can only direct, not play the part except as a lower self. And the directions are indeed of a different kind. Easy to miss, or misunderstand. That is why it is so important to deprogram or cleanse. Disconnect from the lower circuits – as your picture shows – and connect to a higher mind. And to be prepared for a different kind of ‘communication’.
            We have to be able to keep functioning on this material level, so memory does serve us. But, we are not dependent on it. The memory should not remain fixed. There is more to the mind than memory. And there is not just one will that binds the mind. Namaste.

  3. Well, done. Of course, I believe in the power of choice and that choice toward good is best. I believe God influences us toward what would be best for us in each situation. Does that negate free will? Not to me, it doesn’t.
    I did enjoy the circuitry pictured, but noticed there is no RAM…lol just seemed funny to me not to have “free” memory on board.

  4. “I only have a freedom in not knowing”
    I appreciate that reminder. . . good to read all that you’ve been sharing.

  5. Hi Bert,
    Like you I have given up the gloominess of the groundless state. Comprehending Maya means understanding we live in a world of illusions or shall I say in a world of delusion? When we become aware of Maya’s influence in our lives that awareness results in freedom, the freedom to pacify the mind and just be. Once we can drop our self consciousness and focus we enter the flow state. When I paint spontaneous abstracts and when I sing free of inhibition in the now moment I am in the flow. I am one with all that is.

    • thank you for your insightful reply.
      Being groundless is our natural state. Our mind doesn’t like this. It feels insecure in an ever changing world. It wants to conceptualize everything so it can control everything. Thinking that is can control everything is indeed the great delusion. Whether this is called maya, I have forgotten. I could also be samsara, and perhaps both are equal in one way or the other.
      Self needs identification with something. Most of the time it identifies with mind, but it is also happy identifying with only awareness.
      No self means consciousness without identification. These moments are very rare.

  6. I love the line: “the gloominess of the groundless state”. None of us really knows reality as it is but then we are taught that reality is “Maya” and all of us are in a dream like the dreams we dream at night only we are, in some way, awake. It would seem that knowledge brings some freedom though I am not even sure of that because the simplest and most uneducated people sometimes seem to be the most free and spiritual. We are all just drops in the ocean but the ocean is powerful and we each contribute to the power. We are not free in that we really have little choice but to go on trying to make our little contributions. Persons such as yourself reach many. Others less.

    • All knowledge is a game of mind. In the mind, there is knowledge. This knowledge gives us freedom of choice, (will (2)) but at the same time, we are bound by this knowledge, since it makes us interpret reality according to past experiences without giving us more complete views, (will (3)) without seeing that every situation is new and different from any past.
      So while knowledge gives freedom of choice, at the same time it binds us to the past.
      “Not knowing” however, not the state of ignorance but the state of not being bound to the past, gives us the freedom to see more of reality. In the end, this doesn’t give us freedom of choice. It will only indicate ‘right action’ to us. Without the freedom to choose.

      • Thank you very much for this clarification. Your posts raise many questions in my mind but that is a good thing, although I sometimes get frustrated with myself at not having the understanding. Thank you for your always patient replies. Glad for you that you have cut back a little on the posting. You juggle many things at once– admirable. But sometimes one needs a breather.

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