When the searcher,
also known as the knower
or as the memorizer,
realizes that the endless search
becomes a hindrance
to further advancement,
the searcher stops searching and seizes to be.
The knower stops acquiring knowledge,
stops the books, gives away many of them and seizes to be,
the memorizer stops memorizing
and even starts cleaning up the memory
of useless knowledge and experiences.
Searching, knowledge, memory and past experience, all increase the “I”, the mind, the identification with mind. Mind can only know but never contain. It projects images of everything, including itself and stores it neatly in a well organised memory. Beautiful concepts, sometimes, but never reality as it is.
That concept that mind has about itself, we identify with it, .. all the time.
A concept. Nothing more. A very subjective concept. Not observed from outside, only experienced from inside, often without even looking at all, seldom acquired through the eye of self-observance..
Only when you realize how much time and effort is wasted by acquiring knowledge and experience, an end is possible. Only when you break down the house of knowledge without replacing it by another house, by something ‘better’, something ‘closer to reality’, … only then time stops.
Time stops and silence comes all by itself;
“I” becomes less important.
Knowledge becomes a tool, not something to be acquired and stored for ever.
Why and How become troublemakers in stead of challenges.
They belong to the realm of “I”, and are a very useful toolkit of engineering, but bring no light to the solution and understanding of what really is: Reality and All.
This realization, that knowledge will never reveal reality, certainly not ultimate reality or truth, leads often to a great depression in the realms of “I”. “I” has identified so much with this knowledge, and now its value is gone.
Artificial diamond is becoming very cheap these days. Perhaps soon to be sold for under 5USD for a stone, who knows. And all who have been greedy for them and attracted to their former value will be stuck with a beautiful stone and a certificate of authenticity. A useless paper, since the artificial is not distinguishable from the natural anymore. Gone is your investment.
Just like that, it feels, my investment in knowledge … completely lost its former value.
Now 11 months ago. What a wasted effort, what a waste of time.
But slowly, over the months, this grief for the past changed into a freedom of past and future. A freedom to venture beyond knowledge and self-conventions, a freedom to just be.
You lost your investment in diamonds, but instead now you feel the abundant awe for dew drops and rainbows, freely available to each and everyone.
To have discovered a daily awe,
independent from thought, interpretation and opinion.
A freedom to look beyond what I thought was all there was.
To now see that the reality of life and beyond
is manifold more than mind could ever behold.
This freedom is the reward for a thought that could have been qualified as agnosticism.
However the general concept of agnosticism is not what I now see in it. To me agnosticism now means freedom from knowledge, freedom from interpretation, past or future, freedom from all convention.
At the same time it also means freedom from All, and freedom in All.
A paradox for those identifying with mind,
an inspiring reality for those living just a little closer to uninterpreted source.