a thorn in the side

this is not a thorn, it's a horn

this is not a thorn, it’s a horn

I sometimes feel like a thorn in the side, when commenting on blog posts of friends. I want to go deeper into what is being said, and doing so, I rearrange my own insights – that is of course only true when there are replies from the author so I can learn from this person.

Ideally, this process is felt as a mutual benefit. Although sometimes it feels like it is only one way traffic. I apologize if I have made anyone uncomfortable with any comment.

This shouldn’t stop me from commenting, since it would reduce the mutual benefits in those conversations that really go well, and that otherwise I would have missed by being too self restrictive.
Please feel free to do the same on this blog.


30 thoughts on “a thorn in the side

  1. I really enjoy your comments. I gain a lot from them and I they make me ponder, which is a good thing. I tend to not have the time to comment as much as I would like. I used to be terrified to comment on people’s blogs. I had “comment anxiety” it has been in the last year that I have broken free from that, but I still haven’t the time to comment as much as I would like. When I do though, I try to comment as much as possible.

    I learn very much from interactions through comments. It has helped me in my “real” life as well. Comment anytime on my blogs, I welcome them! 🙂

  2. Thank you all for your encouraging comments. Obviously you were not the target of this post. 🙂 It’s great to know.
    Dialogues online, are written down. There is no immediate visual feedback – I cannot correct when I see that I didn’t use the right words, because there is nothing to be seen … no expression of disagreement or even shock. Moreover, English is not my first language and some of its intricacies and levels of refinement are a little alien to me.
    Perhaps the ‘long distance connector’ inspired me to write this post, so I’m hopeful that those who needed to read this post have done so.
    What I write and comment should be seen as a conversation from the comfort of my living room sitting in the cozy chairs and drinking some tea, coffee, cacao or why not a guinness. The real salon conversations that I have here now and then, can sometimes touch heavier subjects, and then I sometimes like to put oil on fire, something I cannot do online. You are all kindly invited (I don’t expect a facebook riot). If you are somewhere within 200 miles of Brussels, let me know. When I travel, I will return the favour of letting you know I might be in your neighbourhood.

  3. What??? Your comments are great! I don’t understand where this is coming from. A self-doubt? I often feel I shouldn’t comment on your posts because of my own lack of grasping some or many of the points and would be a thorn in YOUR side. But YOU are not a thorn in the side and I think other followers would agree. In fact someone commented positively on one of my posts and specifically to your comment to it. I meant to send it to you. Will try to track it down.

    Here it is in response to your comment on the difficulties of beginning a relationship…

    “Powerful writing. I feel privileged to read this and get a chance to walk in your shoes, so to speak. I respect your courage in writing and posting this. You, and the insightful comments that followed, ,have taught me something very important that I needed to know. I am grateful for this lesson and respect you for teaching it to me. Thank you.”

    So you see you don’t know what seeds you sow.

  4. What is done with the best of intentions should be taken in that spirit. Both wisdom and foolishness take this form 🙂
    N.B. Your post, or rather your posting of it, was probably cathartic to some extent and that too is positive.

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