Shame is something very complex
It is about integrity
It is about your self image
it is about your image to the world
It is about secrets
It is about the fear of those secrets being revealed
It is about the fear of being seen
being seen doing what you were not supposed to do
what you were not supposed to do according to your own conventions
It is about blackmail
It is about abuse, any kind of abuse
It is about you don’t wanting the world to know you are/were a victim
It is about guilt
It is about you don’t seeing the line any more between abuser and victim
It is about the abuser telling you that you started it.
It is about being exposed, feeling naked
feeling naked physically
feeling naked emotionally
feeling naked mentally
even feeling naked on a spiritual level
It is about mockery
Unknown and known people making up an image of you
laughing at you
We say “I feel ashamed”
That emotional/physical part of it is something like blushing, and blushing is short lived.
The shame gets a mental shape, the mind chewing it and turning it round, and round.
On a subconscious level there is a permanent stress factor a low level paralysing fear, a suffocating sadness, a permanent feeling of things not being right.
But shame is for the largest part a mental process.
It is about the self image, and the fear of this being destroyed.
Or it is about an already destroyed self image.
Shame can lead to problems of mental health,
when the mind keeps itself busy with it, night and day.
Shame is one of the most destructive mental preoccupations.
It is on par with jealousy, being a fear of losing something you love or like.
But here, the object of love is the self, the self image.
The flower you once were is withering away
Shame is worse than jealousy,
shame can turn to self hate.