questioning self, authenticity and mysticism

the visions in the cave

the visions in the cave

We are being defined by others. Hence we define our self by the same mechanism.
We get programmed from when we are born, and start building our self image probably already before.
We adjust this image with a constant flux of feedback.

Being defined mostly by others, how small is authenticity?
Is it relevant? Don’t we build upon aeons of knowledge from those before us?
Do we really surpass our teachers or are we nothing more but a vessel of recombination.



What happens when there is no more feedback?
How does it feel to be cut off from contact?
Shall I become a psychopath, or a sociopaths or just mad?

How large is the gap between mysticism and madness?
Did John of the Cross see his own twisted self trying to save himself from madness by being cut off from feedback,
not unlike abused young children inventing hostile as well as protective characters around themselves through projection or dis-identification?



When god can only be experienced by the self how authentic is this projected mystical god?


8 thoughts on “questioning self, authenticity and mysticism

  1. I am not smart enough to give an answer to all these extraordinarily difficult questions. I do believe there is nothing new under the sun and all creations are repeats and/or combinations of what has gone before– perhaps with some new quirk. I do not think we surpass our teachers, just reorganize what we have been taught and maybe add a thing or two– which does not make us superior– just different– with emphasis or synthesis, and most likely omitting some very important aspects the teacher taught.

    I do not know how to distinguish between mysticism and madness. But having experienced both, they “feel” different. Is the now-so-occasional-so weakened and infrequent moments of mysticism mean my anti-psychotic drugs are making me saner? And less mystical? My psychiatric social worker husband would say the weakened mysticism is grounded in reality now. I cannot answer anything. I can look back and see sometimes I was delusional. But there is another world, another dimension, that is not delusional. A dimension where there is synchronicity everywhere.

    As for the last sentence I cannot answer it but how can one who had Yogananda as a teacher ask that question unless I am missing the point about what you mean by authentic? Perhaps I have missed the point entirely.

    • Hi Ellen, you wrote a beautiful comment here, straight from the heart. Just like the 2 others who dared to reply. Provocative posts do get straight comments. There is nothing wrong with that.
      Mind can question anything. It will interpret the experiences of its host. It might downgrade them or upgrade them, but it will never understand them. Mind often does not understand the body it is part of and the emotions that are part of the host. So how would it be able to explain experiences of mysticism that surpass it by far?
      I created a sound and logical piece of reasoning with the only conclusion that mind is not authentic and that its labelling and interpretation of god cannot be authentic. But I didn’t write it like that.
      Mind is not mysticism. In the last sentence, I identified mind’s view of itself as self, but they are obviously not equal. They are never equal. Nobody commented yet on that logical fallacy.
      Thanks again for your honest and insightful comment.

  2. The mind always live with me .Whatever happen, the feeling passed to body these happen with your( me and mine, ego) and process passed as all this is real.The questioning is only way to encounter delusion.

    • “questioning is only way to encounter delusion” That is exactly what i’m trying to show with this post. The mind can incorrectly move either way. It will never know. Hence the word ‘agnosticus’. Perhaps one cannot become a true mystic without first touching this level.

    • thank you for your honest answer.
      I think that mind has only words and concepts, and words cannot answer this question. i only know that i can not know with my mind alone.
      But it really feels great to read your worded experience.

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