who is bert …

I think I share close to nothing in this blog, … self control is burnt-in within the knuckles of my typing fingers. The <delete> button is often used.  It’s easy for me to write about what happens around me, and about deep thoughts that occur now and then, but the continuous chatter, the fears and the pride, the masks, the sadness – although often in the background – I keep to myself. (except now,when I uncover their existence)


I analyse myself, and blog about the results and conclusions, but seldom or never about the process. This means that keeping up appearances is high on the agenda, and although I see through most of my own masks, only a select few, perhaps 2 people, unrelated to family and work, get to see the real vulnerable me. If you feel I’m open, then how closed off most people must really be. What a strange world we live in, what am I doing here.

Some say we are here to learn, and others say we are here to remember who we truly are, but none of that seems to fit. Not at all in fact. This is the dark side of existence. No metaphysical cow-dung. Existentialist life.  And it all comes down to one question: “what is consciousness”, and nobody knows the answer.

The dark side of the internet is that you never know whether you are talking to someone genuine, or someone who is only amusing himself by playing whoever. And the worst of it is that people sometimes just disappear … into thin air, for ever. To really know, one must put aside all fear and let curiosity rule and conquer the physical distance. But then, my world is made out of many small circles that should intersect as little as possible.


15 years ago Mt. Shasta came to visit, travelling 20 hours in a plane,  and then we couldn’t stop talking till we both felt blue. And that curiosity killed our e-friendship. No expectation matched, mind could not cope with the failure which it felt having conceptualized a reality that simply did not exist at all.

So, how do I look like now in your mind?  Do I look like somebody from Korea?

27 thoughts on “who is bert …

  1. Hi Bert! A small favour request if it’s not an imposition. I want to take up macro photography and do so with a reasonably compact camera if that is possible. If it is, can you offer any advice? Many thanks, and Happy New Year, Hariod.

    • Best wishes to you too, Hariod. Great to hear from you.
      Macro advice …
      I started digital macro photography by accident with a compact Canon Ixus 230hs … but it was not very easy. The AF always tries to see things in the distance, and I had to use post-its and the like to fool it.
      The Nikon3300 SLR is not compact at all, and 3x times the price. It doesn’t photograph under a small mushroom, and it has quite a learning curve. My eyes are not perfect and I should adjust the ocular at every shoot to slight fluctuations in my vision.
      Patience is part of photography.
      I didn’t touch any camera in the past 6 weeks though. It’s too dark and too busy (noisy?) … but it never remains long like that … soon there will be light again, within and without 🙂
      hope this was helpful at least a little

      • So a compact doesn’t really cut it then it seems. I have read an overview article and it seemed to endorse what you’re saying, suggesting that Compact System Cameras (CSC’s) are the starting point. I didn’t really want to spend several hundred pounds until I knew I was going to get some enjoyment and results, but it appears that going the compact route initially is just going to waste money and not produce anything. I have patience and time, as well as being boredom-proof, but I take your point, and shall put my claim to the test! Many thanks Bert – you’ve been very quiet of late. Hibernating?

  2. Maybe our purpose in life is not to figure it out…..but just to “be”…using the ability to be kind to each other. Those that aren’t have not even begun to live their own potential and in my opinion, are wasting the gift of life on this earth.
    Thanks for taking a look at my blog. Yours is very interesting. 🙂

  3. Hi Bert,

    You wrote: “And it all comes down to one question: “what is consciousness”, and nobody knows the answer.”

    Well bro, does that mean you’ve asked everybody in the world and they said they didn’t know? 🙂 Or did you only ask part of the world, and the part that said they did know,” well you didn’t believe them and so concluded they didn’t know? O maybe they knew but had no way of communicating it? Well, just half-kidding but it does suggest the limits of our inquiry into life and perhaps the limits of our interpretation of the answers life gives.

    In so far as consciousness is individual (and I don’t take that to be the limits of it), the answer at a personal level must be what has unfolded as consciousness in each person’s case. So you have asked yourself the question, and what was the answer, if any, that you got?

    What have you found your consciousness to be? Is it body, emotion, thought, something else? If there is a something else, does it have, for you, a name?

    Best Thoughts,


    • I only come up with half answers in this case. Consciousness surpasses my mental capacity. That’s why I find no satisfying answer, except that I do not know. And you’re absolutely right, I have listened to many writers and speakers, but I forgot to ask the rest of the 7 billion people and billions of other creatures roaming our earth, about what they feel or think about the subject. 😉

      A caterpillar doesn’t appear to have a central brain, so it will not ‘know’ in the same sense as we do. This extreme example to show my incompetence on knowing what other individuals feel, think or intuit on the subject.

      I remember writing a post on consciousness in april … (looked it up, took some time; https://whoisbert.wordpress.com/2013/04/23/experiencing-consciousness/ )

      I wonder about consciousness, but I question the ‘knowing’ of anything … . Knowing in my case seems to be a mirage or a mental stream, not the real thing, and in the case of my consciousness, the real thing is everything I … (all verbs in the dictionary can be put here)

  4. Thank you for your recent visit and the like! It’s very kind of you to take the time and interest to do so. I’m having a few problems getting updates and notifications at the moment so I maybe a bit behind but I am trying to catch up!

  5. As the recent recipient of the Very Inspirational Blogger Award, I have proceeded with the process and have included who is bert in my nominations. Thanks for your enjoyable blogs and information.

    Tom Fitzgerald, SpiritsOnaLearningAdventure

  6. True, the world is populated with beings preoccupied with devices that can render the ‘self’ as an actor that ‘I’ choose to project to others. There’s a dark side to it as you say and also there’s the simple truth that ‘self’ is a construct anyway – why worry, it’s quite likely to disappear into thin air (is that a reference to TSE?)

  7. I stumbled upon your blog because you said (when commenting on another blog) that you do not like facebook or Twitter. Me also, and this post of yours makes perfect sense to me. I also rather blog about conclusions of long-winded decision and thinking processes (only), but I am not interested in sharing instant updates.

  8. The blog is a tool, and as such I believe that many will be the uses we make of it but mainly two: condescend with the “normal” need for consideration of our ego or start to take care of others, stage of the journey of consciousness in which sooner or later we encounter. As for me, I know to look for the consideration of others, but also that my work can be useful to someone. So I try to take away the importance that inside me everything has (for example, write in the blog) and at the same time doing everything as if it were the most important thing.

  9. Now, see, this is one of those posts that I identify with in part, but also find some parts very distant and, often, confusing. I am fairly certain of the point you are trying hard to make, but I was left a little empty after the reading.
    Was that the point?

    • Thank you for your inspiring comment
      This is one of these existentialist musings that leaves you without answers. I think I wrote a couple more in the first half of the year. I think you feel the pointlessness of my existence through this post and this can have an empty taste. Although there is a lot of bitter humour, there is very few information. It is a bit of a meta-blog, a blog about blogging and it tries to tell you that it is near to impossible to know someone, me, even more difficult to know friends on the internet.
      So why am I blogging? Why are you and all those other bloggers doing it? Now that is a question that can be answered. For me it is not an ego thing, I’m just trying to make my readers think about their own existence (but they already do, for otherwise they would find my blog repulsive) planting seeds that might contribute to a better world many years from now.

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