scott kiloby with a Jetlag

Originally posted by Scott Kilobi on facebook … facebook has eaten the post

A headache is none other than awareness. When there is no story around physical discomfort or pain, there is only the sensation of pain itself. And the sensation has no independent existence from that which is aware of it.

In believing that a headache or even a story about the headache is something apart from awareness, we suffer. We get into the mindset that awareness is present only when we feel good. Everything is an appearance to awareness, from the mundane to the profound, from the blissed out to the excruciatingly painful. Awareness remains untouched as these movements come and go.

How do I know what is clear when I am viewing someone else’s expression of truth, beauty, etc? Does clarity reveal itself only apply when others “agree” with me, when they use the same language and ideas I use? If so, isn’t that just me wanting to be right and finding others who will feed my illusion of being right?

Is there a deeper kind of clarity that is not looking for agreement from others, and is not seeking to be right, or find others who mirror my ideas back to me? What would this deeper clarity look like?

The deeper clarity, for me, is in this Maharajah quote, from my facebook photo: Once you are in [awareness], you will find that you love what you see… This choice-less love is the touchstone of awareness. If it is not there, you are merely interested for some personal reasons.

If I love everything I see, that is a kind of clarity that does not depend on agreement. It does not depend on whether others are mirroring back to me what I believe or think is true. To love in that way is to love choice-lessly. That’s the kind of clarity I’m interested in. In my life, anything less is ego.

This kind of clarity and choiceless love is not caught up in believing that there is only one way or a right way to speak truth. It sees truth in everything. There is nothing that cannot be truth. Every experience and expression is perfect in its own right. Every idea is the perfect teacher, letting me know where I…’m stuck in the duality of opposing this or that.

Everything I want to reject is really an appearance of awareness, and not separate from it in any way. It is only ego that wants to claim that somehow something is not “of awareness.” This, I’ve found in my life, is for personal reasons every time. This doesn’t mean that discriminating mind cannot be used, but only that it is no longer flying the plane.

The real challenge is this: Am I able to choicelessly love an expression which never uses the word “awareness” or “God” or “no self” or whatever other word or words are primary within my own language? That’s where the rubber meets the road.

There is a lot of talk in nonduality about “everything is awareness” as if its a belief, as if that allows me to do whatever I want, be as much of an a**hole as I want. But what is it like to actually “love what you see,” as Nisargadatta says.

If you love what you see, you are not opposed to it, not at war with it, not trying to suppress it, change it, or anything. For me, that is not some belief that “all is,” it is to live in an undivided way. That’s totally different than some philosophy about Oneness.

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