When my thinking mind sees its lack of control on whatever,
it most often loses its temper.
After all, what i thought would happen does not -
or when i thought nothing would happen, something does.
So, i was WRONG!
Being wrong, means losing faith in myself,
one way or the other …
Losing faith in myself is not the best for my self esteem.
When mind is not in control,
the bubble of self, my ego,
is reduced in size..
What is self, but nothing more than some concepts of characteristics,
that I attribute to that image of ME?
Not necessarily real characteristics.
Characteristics that make me proud of who I am.
Proud of the story of ME, and how I came this far.
.. when self is under threat, self feels fear …
So when things go WRONG,
I express fear: ANGER
I repress fear: ANXIETY
… or i could just SWALLOW my PRIDE, and ADJUST to the new situation, and move on.
If the foundations of my conceptual self crumble to pieces,
what is left of self, that image that i have of me,
becomes nothing more than a broken mirror of nothing.