colors of fall: chestnut leaf
I have to be aware of my walking. If I don’t, I will hurt the left foot and everything connected up till the knee. Sitting on a chair also needs to be done in a mindful way. The left leg has to really be in a position of complete perpendicular support. Even sleeping has to be done in a correct position without any tension.
I slowed down since Tuesday 19th November. Before that I had to keep running for trains at Brussels North Junction and other stations. If you need a connection two minutes after arrival, life is running for trains. The running might still be a little OK, but running up stairs is too hard on those ligaments that are, now already close to half a century, carrying Whoisbert.
It started one month earlier when mowing the lawn at my father’s with a defective machine. Pushing too hard for just 30 minutes, after the belt of the self-propeller (do you call it like that) gave up. And after this mowing, never minding the small pain.
Now I do.
The alarm system in my foot and leg went to orange after just one day of running after trains, in week 46. I took medication, but stopped one day after my work-order in Antwerp’s city center ended. Just to feel my foot’s condition, in stead of blinding my brain for the pain. And yes, after just two days of rest the pain subsided.
If I walk mindfully, all the time, especially when doing stairs, there is no pain at all.
Not doing too much mileage and keeping warm is another requirement.
And this I will do,
watching every step,
at least for some time.
Pain corrects forgetting the habit of mindfulness yet to be learned.
Until of course, that pain will be gone.
But hopefully, the habit will remain,
and I will unconsciously,
continue to walk the ‘new’ walk.
Perhaps the same way, we can create a habit of watching our anger and its source before reacting. Unfortunately, there is no pain when angry when not being mindful. On the contrary, the mind often feels like rewarded for acting out. A shot of energy and adrenaline.
So this mindfulness has to be learned the long way. By retrospection, in the beginning, and always coming closer to detecting the buttons being pushed, when they are pushed, even before, and not 1 hour later.
It works, but it is a long walk
from feeling rewarded for acting
to feeling proud of seeing the buttons being pushed.
… and freezing that moment
and feeling the energy subside without effort
sometimes even feeling laughter inside
(but not showing that it might be incorrectly seen as a provocation)
… then not feeling proud anymore but satisfied that the mental image of self gets less and less power over whoever-i-am.
That person walking on earth who forgot to pretend to be a separate entity, ceasing sometimes to limit himself to this limited mental consciousness.
Pictures by bvdb (whoisbert) November 2013 – @home – Canon Ixus HS230 – IMG4880